I don’t know if you saw my list of people I’d bunch in the face, but I found a new person to add to the list: Joseph Francis Buck.
1. He was born St. Petersburg, Florida. That’s right. St. Pete. Home of the Rays, Bucs, Lightning, and I’m sure there’s a soccer team there. Pretty sure no one showed up for his birth including his mother.
2. He grew up in St. Louis. He grew up a Cardinals fan. I’m not from Houston, but I hate the St. Louis Cardinals. I really don’t have to say anything more.
3. He got kicked out of MIT. Yep. I said MIT. He then dropped out of Indiana University. Indiana? MIT? Really? Smart enough to be there…….then get kicked out. I wish you could see my head shaking right now.
4. He was a play-by-play guy for the Cardinals AAA team AND the Cardinals themselves. He and his dad were play by play guys for St. Louis. At the same time.
5. He calls baseball games on Fox with Tim McCarver and Ken Rosenthal. Cheese and crackers those three make me want to punch blind children in the face. McCarver is a terrible color man, Buck is dumb as rocks, and Rosenthal’s bow tie is a metaphor for his interview style: stupid. Is there any trio in sports that are worse than them? It’s ok. I’ll wait.
6. He calls football games with Troy Aikman. Yeah Troy says the obvious, but he was a Dallas Cowboy (a triplet at that) and has three rings. I’m more jealous than anything of Joe Buck just bc he’s standing next to a Hall of Famer. Another reason to hate.
7. He only gets excited for the teams I don’t like. (as of right now the Detroit Tigers) You’re telling me you can’t get excited for a Nelson Cruz walk-off Grand Slam, but you can for an Alex Avila single in the second inning? Your mother raised you wrong.
8. His catchphrase is “Now that’s a good call.” He wouldn’t know a good call if Ray Charles told him it was a good call.
9. He contributes to Sporting News. Sorry it’s not Sports Illustrated and I’m sorry I’m not sorry either.
I can’t think of anymore, but know that I am not a fan of Joe buck.