10 Things that I Know to be Absolutely Certain

  1. I don’t like asparagus and Meagan knows why.
  2. Late night omelets at I-45 with Bree are the best time one could have in Fairfield without blowing anything up.
  3. Twitter is better than Facebook.
  4. The party starts when the “Lime Goggles” are put on Kyle’s face.
  5. You don’t have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
  6. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
  7. My parents and I will laugh at the same scenes in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, The Great Outdoors, The Three Stooges, and I Love Lucy no matter how many times we’ve seen them.
  8. The time to make a move against Austin and Kyle on the golf course is on the back nine.
  9. Walt loves beer.
  10. Dabble is the greatest word ever.
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