One day, I was staying at my grandparents’ house with my grandmother and my grandfather comes home for lunch. He’s a doctor and started the local hospital in my hometown. He’s a hero in these parts. We eat lunch, he watched the news, and then goes back to work. While he is leaving, he tells me to call him if we need anything. Later on in the day, I want to call and talk to him, so I pick up the phone and dial him.
Now, let me set you up for this zinger. I’m probably five at the time. I know how the phone works. In my head, I’m thinking that if I dial 911 and ask to speak to my grandfather that I will get to talk to my grandfather because that’s how my five year old brain worked; you dial 911, you ask for a doctor, and they’ll put a doctor on the phone.
Well as you can imagine that did not work out too good and my grandmother figured out that I had dialed 911 and I got in trouble. Later that week, the sheriff’s report came out in the paper and guess who was the first person to be mentioned in the report.
The moral of the story: make sure your kids don’t use the phone, ever.
Jaybird is the Word 
That’s adorable, but it could have been worse.
A few years back, a cop came to the door one night. It turned out that the police had received a call from our number that they were rather concerned about. They said that the caller could only be hear to breathe, they couldn’t get any sort of answer from the caller.
At first we were dumb-founded because we hadn’t called 911. But after checking the bedroom phones, we discovered my then 2 year old grand-daughter playing with the phone. She wasn’t talking yet, so she was just breathing into the phone.
Even the cop had to laugh at that one.
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