My Girlfriend’s Roommate

So Meg’s roommate, Taylor, and I hate each other. We don’t get along at all. We’ve tried every different way to get along, but we can’t do it.

Every time we see each other we want to scratch out the other one’s eyes. Just an insult after insult after insult between the two of us.

Words cannot express how much hatred flows between us. If we could, we would try to kill each other just so we don’t have to be on the same earth together. Are you getting how much we don’t like one another?

The other night, I walk into their house and Taylor is sitting on the couch. My blood is boiling. We make eye contact. We just stare at one another trying to make the other’s head explode.

“Hello Jay.”

“Hello Taylor.”

“Did you come to eat all our food then leave like you always seem to do?”

“I came here to murder you.”

“Ha! You think you could kill me? You couldn’t kill me even with help.”

“Just keep watching ABC Family because they don’t show that where I’m gonna send you.”

“I don’t watch ABC Family, especially not during Swamp People.”

“You watch Swamp People?”

Turns out, that she and I call it our favorite show on TV. It’s just so good. People living in the swamps of Louisiana, riding in a boat all day and shooting big gators all day? Yes please. We’ll take a serving of that.

We watched the whole episode. Laughing and giggling and saying “Chootem! Chootem!” every time Troy said it. It was at that point that I realized that Taylor wasn’t so bad after all.

We can’t agree on anything. Books, politics, classes, what’s for dinner, you name it, we disagree. BUT even though we hate each other to the point that we plot the way we could murder the other and not get caught, we can agree on one thing and one thing only: Swamp People is the best show on television. Maybe we could be friends after all.

Eh… Maybe not. Baby steps.

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