Protestant Golf Team

This is just a disclaimer that this post is not to poke fun at any type of religion or make one religion seem better than another one. The story isn’t about that at all and any resemblance of that is purely coincidental. This story is true and I think very funny, so don’t take this too seriously.

My junior year of high school Fairfield High School got invited to play a tournament at Cedar Creek Country Club. It was a small tournament, only five or six teams including us.

When we got there, FHS did what FHS did at every tournament, we got loud. It was a tradition to make noise to get inside everyone’s head because we all knew that was the only way we could level the playing field. We started goofing off and making fun of each other and everyone that we could see. We just acted like ourselves.

Right before we broke off into our groups, we were all standing on the putting green, still goofing around and carrying on with our nonsense, we started noticing all the other teams standing in huddles. Every now and then someone would turn and shush us, but not in a polite way (as if there was a polite way to “shush” someone). So naturally, we got louder and cracked more jokes and goofed off.

A coach came up to us and said “Look here you little heathens, these teams are saying their prayers and having a little Mass before they go out and play. We don’t know what you do before you play, but we’re praying for you because none of you look like you know how to do it. May God have mercy on all of you.”

Turns out, all the teams there were private catholic schools in the surrounding area. FHS is not. In fact, everyone on the team was Protestant.

We started our rounds and we noticed that everyone in our groups hated us and essentially had it out for us to lose this tournament. They wouldn’t help us look for lost balls, wouldn’t talk to us, and were just rude people.

What they didn’t know was that we were a good team, and we placed in the tournament. The coach that called us “heathens” had to award us our medals, and everyone there including parents and the staff of the golf course were not happy. The next year, our coach calls to schedule this tournament and they said that they had plenty of teams and hung up on him.

So what I’ve learned from all of this is that Catholics don’t want Protestants to place in their tournaments…ever.


One response to “Protestant Golf Team

  1. Haha… So you boys are the reason we didn go back there our senior year! I had no idea!!! Lol good, I didnt like that course anyway!!


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