Man Movies

I don’t like movies that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I don’t like that feeling. It’s not natural. It’s not who I am. I like movies that have crude humor. And explosions. And fast cars. And faster women. Basically, I like man movies and I hate “chick flicks.”

I got in an argument with someone about my style of movies the other day. They were saying that Inglorious Basterds wasn’t realistic and that some mushy, gushy romantic comedy was.

Are you kidding me? Aldo Raine is manlier than all of those guys in every chick flick in the history of cinema combined together. I think it’s more believable that 8 Jewish-American soldiers were dropped into France dressed as civilians that once they’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, they’re “gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Nazis.”

Everyone knows how I feel about Breaking Dawn. People want a “love like that” or “they were meant for each other.”

So what you’re saying is that you want something that’s totally fake and unbelievable?

“And a man killing Nazis and Hitler is?”

You bet your butt it’s real! I’d rather think that the foot soldiers of a Jew-hating, mass murdering maniac that needed to be “dee-stroyed.” It’s almost un-American to not like it!

Is that true? Do you hate America? Better not hate America or you and I may have a rendezvous in a tavern…in a basement.

Sound good?

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