Health Conspiracy in America

I’ve discovered that I cannot buy fruits and vegetables in the grocery store. Every time I do, they spoil, and it’s not the “Oh I bought this because I’ll eat it eventually, but I forgot about it after 6 months and now it has mold all over it” spoiling. I’m buying fruit and three days later it will spoil.

Like the other day I bought a hand of bananas. I like my bananas a little on the green side because the yellower ones tend to turn into baby food faster. So I went home with my greenish bananas, not thinking of what was to happen to them. I made it home, unloaded my groceries and tore off a banana and ate it for a snack. The next morning, I walk into the kitchen to see my bananas are covered in brown spots and are turning into mush!

What the heck is going on here?!

And it’s not just bananas. Oh no. This happens to the apples, carrots, avocados, plums, pears, lettuce and various other items that I buy and what I (and my dietitian mother) would consider “healthy.”

Why is this happening? I’ll tell you why. It’s the government’s fault.

Think about it, the government controls the farms that are producing the food and telling them to give the people of America the substandard fruits and vegetables and save the good food for the leaders of the United States so they can be healthy and fit. They’re doing this to hoard food for the New World Order. People go into the stores trying to buy food that is more nutritious so that they can become healthier and help slow down the epidemic of obesity in America, but they are buying substandard foods that will spoil faster. When people go to eat a healthy snack, they notice all the food they bought is spoiled. Instead of driving to the grocery store which is farther out of the way to buy more fruits and vegetables, they go to a fast food place which is conveniently located around the corner. They notice that the gas prices are slowly climbing higher and higher each day because of some new bill that’s been passed by the Senate and the House. Well gas is $4.00 a gallon, I’m not going to drive all that way to the store and back. That will cost me too much money. I’ll just go down the road for some food. The person then eats a Double Quarter Whopper Western Bacon Filet O’ Chicken Bucket sandwich off of the “Dollar Menu.” The person then thinks of how much money they saved instead of driving to the store. With this in mind, the person then does this instead of going to the store. The person consumes 2000 calories per sandwich, gains 300 pounds, and has to go to the doctor to get blood pressure, diabetes, and cholesterol prescriptions before dying a slow painful heart attack/stroke related death. This happens to several million people and the world population falls to a number of people that can be controlled by a totalitarian one-world government, the NWO. The rest of the people are then enslaved and beaten by the world leaders that force everyone to make solid marble idols of them and pyramids of gold because they can and they have all the money and power in the world. But the NWO didn’t think that there would be an uprising of angry slaves that will eventually overturn everything, driving human evolution backwards, creating anarchy and havoc among primitive, barbaric primates that causes the world to explode, making a black hole that sucks in all the planets and stars and sun until there’s nothing left of the galaxy and universe. Nothing left. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Blackness left in the world.

…all because those dang bananas went bad.

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2 responses to “Health Conspiracy in America

    • Well that’s a good plan, but it ends with me baking. I might as well douse the kitchen with gasoline and put a match to it!

      Thanks for the view! Check out all my other blogs and share with your friends. I mean if you want to share it 🙂

      Like

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