Babies and Getting Married

What’s the deal with all these people I know having babies and getting married? Heck, half the people I know are younger than me! What happened to people waiting until marriage and having a job and not living in your parents’ basement? It’s madness I tell you!

I’ll tell you who’s to blame: Pintrest. They’re telling girls how to make crafts and cob salads and getting them all jazzed (yeah I said “jazzed”) up about babies and weddings. Gotta pin this! Oh that’s cute, but I can’t pin that or other people will find it. Is that even English?! Is that a secret code to some hidden world run by the terrorists?

I get it, woman like all that stuff because they’re biologically programmed to think about mates and babies and stuff, but this is ridiculous. It’s taking away time that could be used to make a delious Thanksgiving dinner or knitting something warm to wear. Women don’t need the Internet, they need an ovenmit.

I am totally kidding. I am not sexist at all. That’s a joke. Laugh. That’s what you do after jokes.

I can’t even figure out what color shirt to wear in the morning and there are people out there making life changing decisions! I haven’t graduated high school yet, but I want a baby inside me. Then me and Dwayne are going to get married and live in his trailer.

What is wrong with America? Are we that stupid? The Jersey Shore cast is started to look like they’re rocket scientists! It’s like we want to be laughed at by everyone because of our teen out-of-wedlock pregnancies and 13 year old kids getting married. Oh but it’s fine because there’s a website that helps girls learn how to make crafts for their baby.

Pintrest, you sicken me.