Pop-Tart Rage 2: Off-Brand Toaster Pastries

I hate the phrase money can’t buy you happiness. It can at least make some of the people you hate miserable. For someone’s birthday, I’d buy a $10 gift certificate and a $100,000 cake. I didn’t know if you wanted cash, but then I thought who doesn’t like chocolate?

That being said, during finals week, my mother sent me a gift basket that several other Aggie mothers help put together. It had candy, drinks, and all sorts of junk food that could help me keep going for the marathon of studying. I did notice one thing about it and I knew my mother didn’t buy these: off-brand Pop-tarts.

Everyone knows about me hating unfrosted Pop-tarts, but off-brand is the biggest slap in the face. They’re not even called Pop-tarts; they’re “toaster pastries.” Well guess what, they suck and taste like cheap cardboard.

As I’m digging through the bag of goodies in front of several other people that I’m studying with I find them. I said that I could never eat them. Now, these people are sophomores and sophomores, like 3 year-olds, think they know everything. You are not grateful, Jay. You are so spoiled. You don’t know anything. Why are you so upset about eating off-brand? Some people can’t afford real Pop-tarts.

If I wanted an off-brand toaster pastry, I would go buy them, but I grew up eating legit Pop-tarts, with frosting slightly toasted in the oven and chocolate milk that my mother made me when I was a kid. I was grateful for every bite that I had because I knew that my mother did that out of love. I’m not spoiled because my father works his fingers to the bone day in and day out so that we can have the best, even if it means spending an extra $0.50 to buy real Pop-tarts. I’m sorry if you think that I am spoiled or ungrateful, but I’m in college so I can get a great job so my kids can eat Pop-tarts and not Great Value Toaster Pastries.

The sophomores shut up and got back to work.


2 responses to “Pop-Tart Rage 2: Off-Brand Toaster Pastries

  1. Pingback: Pop Tart Rage 3 | Jaybird is the Word·

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