I’m staying at home alone tonight.
No big deal.
I think there is someone outside.
Only reason I think that is because Skeeter (my dog) is sitting up on the couch and sitting up every now and then and barking.
Just a warning bark, but lately, it’s been a little more than that.
Like he’s gone from saying “Hey!” to “Get away or I will smite you!”
I’m now sitting in the bathtub with my tee-ball bat.
I’m sitting here.
Waiting for them to break into our house and murder me and Skeeter.
Well I’m not going down without a fight.
I’ve got Texas Independence running through my veins!
No one will come in and scare me!
“May you all go to hell! I’m going to Texas!” said Davy Crockett.
Remember the Alamo!
Come and take it!
Bring it on robbers.
I’ve seen Home Alone over 100 times.
I know how to deal with you.
I’m not afraid anymore.
[Glass shatters in background]
…what the heck was that?!
I may or may not have pooped my pants.