A friend of mine and I were talking about genetic engineering the other day and he thought it would be cool to make a housecat as big as a dog. Like the size of a Labrador or something. Now you have a tame housecat the size of a jungle cat. There’s only one flaw in that logic. You know how when you are petting a cat, and you think it’s going well, then it turns around and bites you? Now the head is the size of a basketball and your hand is gone.
Personally, I think that we should go the other way with it. Take animals that are big and make them small. The first animal that should be changed is a bear. I’m not talking about making it pocket-sized. No one likes that jerk with a pocket-sized bear. Let’s say about as big as a loaf of bread. How adorable would that be? Just the bear walking around, scratching it’s back on a door frame like they do.
You could even dress it up in little outfits. Maybe a little white collar with a tie and a green hat. Perhaps set him next to a “pic-a-nic basket.” If you took a picture, that’s your Christmas card for the rest of the history of anything ever! Merry Christmas from me and my friend, the bear.
I think the biggest breakthrough is the fact that people can go up and pet a bear now because before when you walked up to a bear, he’d be a jerk and rip your arm out. Now, you can pet him all you want! You can even go against the grain and he has to take it! If he gets mad and tries to bite you, how bad is going to hurt? It’s just a housebear.