I Hate the Grocery Store

I hate going to the grocery store. I honestly hate it. I don’t think men should be allowed in there. I don’t know anything about cooking, why do I need to know anything about a grocery store? Yes, I’m saying that only women should be at the grocery store, yes I’m saying that women should do all the cooking, and no I’m not a sexist. It’s just confusing in there. We got all that nasty fruit and vegetables in the way of the meat and cheese section, then all this other crap between the ice cream section, and all this other crap between the sodas and chips section. You know why you seen a lot of guys buying groceries at gas stations? Because all the food we need is right there.

I hate how couples shop with each other too. Drives me insane to see couples together debating on whether someone will eat something or two what they could fix together for dinner. What do you want for dinner, honey? Oh I don’t care, sugarplum.*Kiss one another* Gross. Gag me with a spoon. One, we don’t need to hear/see your public displays of affection especially this single guy. Two, all the guy should be able to cook is meat, so why is he in the canned vegetable isle? Finally, you’re clogging up the isles with all the debating and standing around with your heads up your butts. Poop or get off the pot. Doesn’t matter what you put in front of your face to eat, it will never be as good as mama’s version of it and that girl will more than likely make the same thing every night for dinner, nausea.

But the reason I really hate going to the grocery store is mostly because people can’t control their kids. They just run around and scream and cry, and their parents just let them do whatever they want. One woman let her son lie down in the floor and throw a tantrum because she wouldn’t let him have Lucky Charms so he could eat the marshmallows out of them. It has taken all my strength not to grab one of the kids and start bringing all sorts of fire-and-brimstone-come-to-Jesus discipline on this kid, then turn around and give this “Mom of the Year” a piece of my mind. Who in the world only lets their kids eat only the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms? I bet she lets them wash that down with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a line of cocaine every morning.


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