This is the greatest thing ever because there are some trashy people here and I love watching trashy people in public. It’s like peopleofwalmart.com only you’re in a bingo hall. Good Lord have mercy I have never seen so many extra-small shirts on extra-large bodies in any other place. The majority of the people there are older women who are old and leathery from years of smoking and heavy drinking. pretty sure all of them looked at me at some point and undressed me with their eyes. One woman (who looked like she had been through hell and back twice) called me “pretty little thing” in her raspy, smoker voice and wanted me to sit next to her. Oh no thank you.
I think the coolest part about the whole place is that they give you two free beers. They’re ice cold. It was my grandfather who once said, “There’s only two kinds of beer in this world: cold beer and free beer.” Brilliant man.
Why haven’t I ever done this before? I feel like my whole college career has been wasted on books and times at the library instead of the bingo hall and my Dab-o-Ink bottle.
I think I’m going to make frequent trips to the bingo hall. I almost won $750 my first night there and you can’t win if you don’t play. Next time though, I’m not sitting in the smoking section because now I smell like an ashtray in a Meemaw’s house.