The Time the Jaybird Blackmailed Me

Why hello.  Staffen here.  Some of you may know me as Muscles or Staffenfection.  My name is Lauren, but Jaybird never calls me that.  Instead, he refers to me as someone who can’t play video games or do anything correctly, a woman.  Well since this is kind of an introduction post, I think I’ll just tell you how I met Jaybird.  Well we met in our Medical Microbiology course in the fall of 2011.  He later told me that he didn’t know my name for 2 or 3 weeks after we met because he couldn’t hear what Michael said when he introduced us.  He didn’t even ask again.  Just waited for someone to say it.

Anyway, back on May 20th (according to Jaybird) I agreed to be a part of the blog and start writing.  I love the blog and of course I want to be a part of it but there are a couple things that were/are standing in the way of posting.  #1 I’m not funny.  I mean at all.  Awkward is a better word to describe my attempts at humor.  #2 It’s pretty hard to find things to write about.  On rare occasions when I come up with something, I forget it within 5 seconds.  It’s like pulling teeth to get me to write anything.  Jaybird can attest to this as he’s witnessed my meltdown while writing papers.

As of right now I’ve probably been fired a thousand times for not posting.  I’ve been fired via text, angry phone calls with lots of yelling and cursing, and probably twitter at some point.  I’ve been ignored and insulted using a haiku (who knew Jaybird was such a poet?). I’ve always laughed and giggled during these conversations and blew them off as empty threats.  Because of this, he has decided that scaring me into writing is the only way I would ever get anything done.  Well I guess it worked because this is posted. Even if I had to get a 10 minute extension.


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