Texas Rangers Baseball Drinking Game

I am a huge baseball fan. Many of you know that I love the Texas Rangers and that I am going to watch every game that I can. My friend Amy is the same way. We watch so much Ranger baseball that we thought that it was time that the Rangers needed their own drinking game. Warning: You play this game, you’ll get drunk. If you drink, drink responsibly and don’t drive, do the watermelon crawl.

Here are the rules.

  1. Whenever Buzz says “Lil’ nubber”
  2. Whenever Buzz or TAG jinx anything. (i.e. “Darvish hasn’t walked anyone today” and then ball 4.)
  3. During the duration of the Wash shimmy.

    texas-rangers-baseball

    Damn he can shimmy!

  4. Whenever Beltre tippy-toes.

    texas-rangers-baseball

    Shots if he goes to a knee. #paytheman

  5. Of the amount equal to Darvish’s current K tally.
  6. Whenever a player grabs his package.
  7. Anytime that Busby says any sexual innuendo such as: (there’s more at homerunsandcherrypie.com and a few from the old standby of Wikipedia)
    1. Fisted
    2. Jammed
    3. In there tight
    4. Come in the backdoor
    5. Getting the signals crossed
  8. Every time there’s a strikeout and it’s followed with a “got ’em swingin'”
  9. When they show an Asian in the stands when Yu is pitching
  10. See Jim Knox? Drink.
  11. Shotgun a beer any time Knox says “G’day mate”
  12. TAG says borderline call or “could have gone either way”
  13. Anytime Mark McLemore tells a story about himself.
  14. Anytime TAG makes a mention of how bad he was in his playing days.
  15. Whenever Mark Maddux touches his stache.

    texas-rangers-baseball

    I hear his mustache smells like cinnamon and freedom.

  16. Any time Yu Darvish is mentioned in a game he isn’t playing in
  17. Anytime Busby explains the over shift.
  18. When Buzz or TAG compare a player to a person that no one has ever heard of
  19. Any mention of Cliff Lee = shot
  20. Any mention of someone that used to play for the Rangers
  21. Any mention of someone drafted by the Rangers
  22. Anytime they show the over shift on Fielder (or any player).

    ...why don't people learn how to hit it the other way?

    …why don’t people learn how to hit it the other way?

  23. When Alex Rios makes that swing that you think he hit a homerun
  24. Chug if you see W in the stands

    texas-rangers-baseball

    “How’s that change working out for y’all?” – W on pitchers with dirty change-ups/Obama

  25. Any child in the stand that Buzz or TAG make a comment that they want food
  26. Mentioning of the number of Ranger fans at an away game
  27. An actual homerun in the Sonic Slam Inning
  28. Mention of Bengie Molina’s cycle (finish your drink if they show the struggle to third); video courtesy of mlb.com
  29. “He’s been struggling, but he is about due for a big hit.”
  30. Just when you think it’s game over and those Texas Rangers get a big hit.
  31. Drink whenever the Greene’s Hill ginger catches a homerun.
  32. “It’s going to be (insert closing pitcher’s name here) coming up next.”

    Clockwise from top left: Joe Nathan, Joakim Soria, Neftali Feliz, and John Wetland

    Clockwise from top left: Joe Nathan, Joakim Soria, Neftali Feliz, and John Wetland

  33. Toast and finish your drink for a Ranger win texas-rangers-baseball
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